God's way vs. My way

When does God begin His special plan in a life? Is it when He gives a promise or when He finally brings the promise to completion? Although it may not always be obvious to us, there seems to be one distinct moment when God begins a new story in each of our lives. He writes words on our hearts that long to be spoken and strain to be lived out. Then with His own hand, He begins to write the script. Experience by experience through seemingly ordinary days, He supernaturally orders OUR days! Only when we look back and reflect on what appeared to have been the ordinary events of life does it become very clear what a miracle the Lord has performed.
Adoption is a story of a journey. Our family isn't writing the story; we're simply given the privilege of living it out. Already, as I look back, I am comforted by the assurance that absolutely nothing in our lives has been wasted! Every moment pointed us in an already-established direction. Our only real choice was whether to surrender our hearts and lives to God's plan. This journey is one God set in motion for a very ordinary family! We are bringing along a few strengths and many weaknesses, a little faith and great fears! BUT, despite all of our inabilitiess, God is leading us day by day, one step at a time along a specific path that has been prepared specifically for us!

The bible tells us that the Lord wants to give us the desires of our hearts according to His will (Psalm 37:4). Sometimes we fear our desires and longings. As time goes by, we assume our dreams were not "spiritual" enough to meet God's approval. We doubt, we question. In reality, I'm realizing that our deepest hopes are often rooted in dreams that God has actually planted in our hearts. Without the pull of our emotions, that sense pulling us in the direction we feel we should go, I doubt we would ever have the courage to move forward.

I am learning a lot about the difference between God moving supernaturally to bring His will to pass and my own small attempt to fulfill His promises on my own! And I know I have SO MUCH more to learn! What happens when our dreams don't seem to fit with the reality of our lives? Our finances? What do we do when we feel that a promise God has given us will never come? I know one thing for certain - I have a promise, but my God has the plan! What matters to God is our trust and obedience RIGHT NOW in the midst of the situation.

So, what now? I still feel a stirring in my soul whenever I see a child, but I have stopped struggling!!!! And with that surrender - I have peace! I trust and wait on the promises of Jeremiah 29:10-11 "I will...fulfill My good word to you...For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for prosper and happiness, to give you a future and a hope." I know God's word to me, to us, is the promise of a baby, but right now it is just that - a promise! The fulfillment of that promise is still to come and as I've accepted that, a sense of hope quietly sits in my heart!!!!!